A Personal Response to bane666au

Last month the blog got a little action when someone picked up on my review of Netflix’s Jessica Jones and brought it to the attention of series creator Melissa Rosenberg who linked to it on her Facebook page. With exposure comes a greater audience. Not all of them will be of the same high caliber we’ve come to expect here at Castle Schadenfreude.

My review included this: “The most fun—for me, at least—is how this show must make men’s rights advocates’ heads explode.” That prompted this comment from bane666au: “Why exactly would it make our heads explode? We aren't against female characters, writers, directors etc. This is just a lame strawman argument by someone who has no idea what they are talking about.”

I did a little looking into bane666au and checked out his web site, so you, dear reader, wouldn’t have to. A quick perusal and listening to a couple of his videos provided ample evidence as to why I thought it might make men’s rights advocates’ (read: bane666au) heads explode: they (read: he) are (is a) misogynistic douche bag(s). And a dickless coward, to boot.

What leads me to believe he’s a dickless coward? I use my name on my blog and web site. My real name. Dana Fucking King. I don’t hide behind a pseudonym. (Note to bane666au: that means “fake name.”) Even worse, his sounds like some teenaged kid’s idea of badass. (“Bane’s hard-core man, and 666 is fucking evil, Dude. Rock on, Garth.”) True, the “au” hints that he’s in Australia (though you’ll know that two words into a video), but Australia’s big and it used to be a penal colony so for all I know “Bane” is like Smith or Johnson down there. Why not let his name stand like a beacon in these dark times?

Probably because his intentions aren’t all that honorable. Note his carefully-worded reply. “We aren't against female characters, writers, directors etc.” I never said their heads would explode because there were female characters, writers, directors. I said it was because there strong female characters, etc. I’ve done quite a bit of research into the men’s rights movement for an upcoming book. They’re all in favor of women. In their place. In the eyes of the men’s rights activist, that place is either in the kitchen or on her knees. (I exclude those “men” who have joined up with Men Going Their Own Way and have decided they want no women in their lives, period, which I also suspect is largely bullshit, though I suspect most women are grateful.)

I will admit my research into the men’s rights movement (MRM) was not exhaustive. It was, however, exhausting. I really couldn’t do more than half an hour or so at a time before disgust and the desire to un-read some things overcame me. These are people who believe domestic abuse is “sex symmetrical” and that the vast majority of rape accusations are false. Many do not believe it is possible for a man to rape his wife. There is a school of thought in the American MRM that Mexican wives are preferable because they are docile. There is a group with the sole intention of diverting donations from White Ribbon, a Canadian organization dedicated to “end violence against women and girls, promote gender equity, healthy relationships and a new vision of masculinity.” The counter group’s (whiteribbon.org, as opposed to whiteribbon.ca) motto is “End Violence Against Everyone” and has a photo of a “battered woman” with their pledge. (Looks more like a cheap make-up job to me, but I’m no expect.) Scroll on down and the evenhandedness disappears. Women are the culprits here, and feminism is the root or most evil. The site is hosted by A Voice For Men, the “leading” web site for the MRM, and hardly a voice of reason.

So, bane666au, that’s why men’s rights activists’ head will explode. Strong women. Women of the type that led to MRAs boycotting Mad Max: Fury Road. You think you’re men? Men don’t blame others for their own failures. Men don’t carry on about a vast female conspiracy that has neutered the “manginas” in positions of power to bias laws in women’s favor.  What men do—in addition to taking responsibility for their own weaknesses and failures—is have to deal with a world where a woman has little choice but to view us as potential threats, both physically and economically. As usual, Louis CK is dead on:

Here’s the deal, bane666au or whatever the fuck your real name is: (In fairness, he may use a pseudonym because his family has threatened to beat the shit out of him if he leaves any way for people to connect them.) We’re on to you, and your cowardly, spineless, pusillanimous, timorous, yellow, weak-kneed, gutless, frightened, cowhearted, despicable buddies. Go your own fucking way. Find an island somewhere and create a male utopia of self-emasculating, self-loathing, self-defeating, and self-abusing onanists and leave the rest of us to work things out. Without you, we have a chance of getting it right.