A few weeks ago I wrote about yet another
bowl of shit writers sometimes have to swallow. The comments, both here and
elsewhere, were positive, and I was happy people seemed to take the post in the
spirit in which it was intended.
That was near the end of September. I spent August with
covid and its after-effects, and September began with having to cancel out of
Bouchercon and enduring less than professional treatment from [magazine name
redacted]. The nadir of a trough, so to speak.
October was better.
So much better it started a day early, at the Creatures,
Crimes, and Creativity conference that began September 30. I moderated a panel
that was well-received by both the audience and the panelists, then wrapped up
the day’s festivities by hosting Noir at the Bar. A solid panel on Saturday led
to Sunday morning’s discussion of hard-boiled writing that was one of the two
best panels I’ve ever been on. I can’t imagine a conference going better for
me.
That roll continued through the month. I received good
comments on “The Box” and White Out, as well as demonstrations of
respect on other levels
On the downside, October also brought news that a writer I
respect a great deal is pulling the pin on his writing, while another is
refocusing his efforts on craft and away from business. Both expressed feelings
not dissimilar to what I posted about in September.
This leads to a logical question: when is enough enough? In
2010 I wrote a post called The Reward to
Bullshit Curve; MBAs call it Return on
Investment (ROI). Everyone uses it. Teachers, plumbers, writers, doctors, cops,
astronauts, ditch diggers, spouses. Everyone. The curve has a simple definition:
at some point the bullshit we have to put up with in any activity may overcome
the rewards we receive from that activity. When it does, it’s time to move on.
Here it is, for reference. (I reversed the axes from the
original. I like this one better.)
Reward has both relative and practical definitions. With a
job, money is a key component, though it should not be the only element under
consideration. As a writer, money is obviously not what keeps me going, so
there must be something else.
Everything we do falls somewhere along the curve, even leisure
activities. There are times The Beloved Spouse™ and I would love to be 1500
miles away in a matter of a few hours, but what do we have to endure to get
there? Parking at the airport, going through security, getting on the plane
half an hour early, hoping we don’t have to pee because airplane bathrooms
barely allow room for my size 12s between the door and the toilet, several
hours’ confinement to an inadequately sized seat, waiting for luggage that may
never arrive, arranging the transportation at the destination, all with the
realization we’re going to have to do all this again to get home. The bar for what
constitutes acceptable reward for that level of bullshit would set an Olympic
pole vault record. It’s not that we’ll never fly again, but there has to be an
extraordinarily good reason.
Does that mean we never make those trips? Hell no. We drive.
It might take three days, but we stop when we want, eat where we want, see
sights if we want; our transportation and luggage are always with us. We take
turns driving, and we can laugh and joke without worrying about the person in
the next seat. True, we’re not driving to San Diego for Bouchercon next year,
but anyplace east of the Rocky Mountains is fair game.
Anything one does regularly spends time above or below the
Curve. There may be extended periods on one side or the other, because
sometimes life is a bowl of cherries and sometimes it’s just one vile fucking
task after another. If you find you’re spending too much of your time doing
something – anything – under the line, it may be time to divest yourself of
that part of your life. If you find you’re consistently above it, well, then, good
on ya. Please do me one favor:
Never take it for granted.
4 comments:
Perfectly said. why I didn't return to medicine after I retired from the Army. That particular glass was full.
Brad
I suppose in a way it's a good thing my novel-writing career didn't take off when I was in my 20s, as planned. I have fewer years of bullshit left in me to endure, and given my publisher, I don't think there will be much of it!
I suppose the perverse part of this is that writing can be like an abusive lover and sometimes you actually come to love some of the bullshit.
Thanks, all. It's nice to see there are people I trust who get it when I go out on a limb a little.
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